Sports, and especially sports betting, can be serious matters but even the most hardened wagering wonk should be able to find some humor in what athletes, journalists and others have had to say about the games we all follow with such grim and steadfast determination:
"Which will happen first, the NBA's first regular season game (-115) or Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian announce divorce (-115)?"
--Odds posted by BetOnline.com
"The Atlanta Hawks will be sold to a California developer who owns a chain of La Pizza Loca franchises. The team will remain in Atlanta but when Hawks guards throw a long pass for a transition basket, it will be known as a deep dish."
--Reggie Hayes, The Fort Wayne (Ind.) News-Sentinel
Two more from Hayes
"NBA Players Association executive director Billy Hunter told the Baltimore Sun that if he had to bet on it, he'd wager there will be no NBA season this year. That's the bad news. The good news is nobody will really notice until after the Super Bowl."
"A fan website is offering former Auburn quarterback Cam Newton $1 million if he can pass a lie detector test. Auburn officials are outraged and intend to investigate the site for false claims and to see if the owner would be interested in joining the school's booster club."
"Help me out here, would LeBron James go back to Ohio to file for unemployment?"
--Greg Connors, the Buffalo News, on the NBA lockout
"Blazers very gently extend offer to Greg Oden"
--Headline at SportsPickle.com
"When fans get mad at me they can't say ‘I hate World Peace.'"
--LA Lakers Ron Artest, to the Los Angeles Times, on why he legally changed his name to Metta World Peace
"A broken heart is kind of like a broken bat. You can use it again but it will never be the same."
--Jose Canseco, tweeting philosophical after a romantic rift
"That took some ovaries to do."
--Danica Patrick, to The Des Moines Register, on flooring her IndyCar through the Iowa Speedway's notoriously bumpy turns
"They're looking for young and cheap and I'm neither."
--Fox analyst and former Baltimore Ravens Coach Brian Billick, to the St. Paul Pioneer Press, on why he's not anticipating any offers to return to the NFL sidelines
"I've been ridiculed, insulted, I've been made fun of to the point I actually feel I'm still married."
--Fox analyst Terry Bradshaw on the backlash after his opening week criticism of rookie Panthers quarterback Cam Newton
"Even Susan Lucci was feeling bad for the guy."
--Comedy writer Jerry Perisho on golfer Harrison Frazar finally winning a PGA event on his 355th attempt
"And nine out of 10 dentists agreed."
--Ian Hamilton, Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post, after the NHL decided not to suspend Vancouver's Alex Burrows for biting an opponent
"A soccer player on Welsh club Tenby remained hospitalized after a season-ending party when, as one player said, ‘a bit of horseplay went seriously wrong. We'd all had a few drinks when one of the lads did a moonie. A player picked up a pool cue and it all went wrong from there.'"
--mirror.co.uk
"The New Zealander is a master caddie. Williams can look at a green 200 yards away and judge the wind, the slope and whether the blonde in the third row is wearing a wedding ring."
--Comedian Argus Hamilton on why Tiger Woods may regret firing caddie Steve Williams
"Notorious former Miami linebacker Willie Williams got busted in Kentucky on a burglary charge, his 15th arrest. That's a milestone. Do they give you a watch for that, or do you have to steal it?"
--Greg Cote, The Miami Herald
Elephant polo is gaining popularity in England. I can just picture Prince Charles playing. One elephant whispers to the other, ‘Get a load of the ears on that guy.'"
--Brad Dickson, Omaha World-Herald
"Illinois is going to spend $200 million to build a wind farm. Now comes the hard part: Convincing Dick Vitale, Chris Berman and Lee Corso to move there.
--Dwight Perry, the Seattle Times
Two more from Perry
"Attendees at the wedding of Steelers' QB Ben Roethlisberger said they'd never seen such tight security. Though locking all the bathroom doors seemed a bit overboard."
"The NFL has warned teams that fines and suspensions will follow if players keep faking injuries. In a related story, the New York Giants are suddenly 7/5 favorites to reach the next World Cup."
See, sports betting really does have a funny side.
This article was written by Luken Karel for http://www.thegreek.com. The Greek Sportsbook & Casino is host to one of the top online sportsbooks offering college football betting and sports betting on NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL and all other major sports. The Greek is a must have sports betting and entertainment portal with one of the largest wagering menus available online. Article reproductions must include a link pointing to http://www.thegreek.com
