Tiger Woods' marital infidelity was an easy target for chuckles while a wagering scandal in soccer produced a great many grimaces in a review of the best quotes and misquotes from the fields of sports and sports betting in 2009.
Let's take a look back:
"To review, Tiger Woods hit a fire hydrant and a tree with his car and then passed out asleep on the lawn in his underwear. Or, as John Daly calls that, Thursday night."
--Alex Kaseberg, comedy writer
"I wish Tiger would stop calling me to ask for advice."
--David Letterman, who, in October, admitted his own affair
"Tiger always gives 110 percent. That is why he gave 100 percent to his wife and still had 10 percent left over for his alleged mistress."
--Stephen Colbert
"One of the women who claims she slept with Tiger Woods says they never talked about golf while having sex. However, Tiger was obligated to talk about Nike, Gatorade and American Express."
--Conan O'Brien
"Without question this is the biggest betting scandal in the history of European soccer."
--Peter Limacher, head of discipline for European soccer's governing body on the most recent bet-fixing imbroglio.
"Bribes are paid in Europe, bets are placed in Asia, and the profits are taken in Berlin."
--Jorg Ziercke, head of the German Federal Crimes Office, explaining the scope of the soccer betting scandal which involved more than 200 matches in 17 countries
"Betting is about so much money that, unfortunately, we can't exclude anything."
--Thomas Grimm, head of Swiss league soccer, on why coaches, players, referees and administrators are all under suspicion in the latest soccer fixing scandal. At least he left out bettors.
"To influence players, coaches or referees to fix a game, money may not always be the most important factor. It is possible that some of the gamblers were able to catch a player in a compromising situation and bribe him to pay for silence by throwing a game."
--Friedhelm Althans, Bochum, Germany police chief
"Not one of our tigers has been arrested with cocaine. No otter knocks over old ladies to shoplift condoms. Our bear doesn't have temper tantrums and storm off his exhibit. You won't find any of our lemurs busted for smoking pot. So, please stop insulting zoos by comparing those criminals to us."
--Amanda Padwa, Binghampton (NY) Zoo business manager, after Binghampton Athletic Director Joel Thirer described the school's basketball team, from which six students were dismissed for such behavior, as "a zoo"
"For the Olympic Committee it really came down to one simple question: Where do you want to spend your summer vacation, the land where supermodels invented the bikini wax or the land where fat guys invented deep-dish pizza?"
--Comedian Bill Maher on Chicago losing out to Rio de Janeiro for the 2016 Summer Olympics
"First, three Tennessee football players get nabbed for armed robbery and now another gets caught shoplifting. Obviously, UT's boosters aren't paying their players nearly as well as other SEC schools.
--Mike Bianchi, the Orlando Sentinel
"After the delivery, Brady held the baby briefly then passed him to Wes Welker."
--Cam Hutchinson, the Saskatoon Star-Phoenix, after model Gisele Bundchen and New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady became parents of a son, recently
"I like to draw fouls."
--Carmelo Anthony, Denver Nuggets forward and budding artist on his favorite thing to draw
"In less than a week they've busted a Nordic combined office pool, a figure skating fantasy league and a curling Calcutta."
--Dwight Perry, the Seattle Times, after the International Olympic Committee set up a new system, starting with the Winter Games in Vancouver in 2010, to quash betting on the Olympics
"Sixty-seven million to one."
--The odds Golf Digest put on a player scoring two holes-in-one in a single round after 64-year-old Ruth Day did that at the Whitley Bay Golf Club in northern England in October. Less than three weeks later, two other golfers had achieved the same feat. So where can I get 67 million to one?
This article was written by Luken Karel for http://www.thegreek.com. The Greek Sportsbook & Casino is host to one of the top online sportsbooks offering sports betting on NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL and all other major sports. The Greek is a must have sports betting and entertainment portal with one of the largest wagering menus available online. Article reproductions must include a link pointing to http://www.thegreek.com
